Prepare yourself because, by the end of the next paragraph, you may well feel it necessary to re-read the paragraph.
A chain-smoking orang-utan has been rescued from a life of downbeat decadence at a zoo in Johor, Malaysia. The orang-utan had started to chain-smoke and ingest beer, fizzy drinks and fast food.
“Smoking is not normal behaviour for orang-utans,” said Ahmad Azhar Mohammed, head of a zoo in the city of Malacca and winner of Mr. No-S**t-Sherlock 2011.
The orang-utan apparently suffered from serious mood swings and withdrawal symptoms, if not supplied with cigarettes. She also looked drowsy, sometimes - as if drugged - because she had begun to use the cigarettes, beer, fast food and other waste that punters had thrown into her enclosure.
Shirley, as she is known, will now go to the zoo in Malacca, where the phenomenally well-informed worker whose quote we used works, to be weened off cigarettes and her smoking habit before being sent to an endangered-species compound in the Malaysian part of Borneo.
TWOL says: If you are an orang-utan, avoid Malaysia.
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